Since we moved flats, all has been relatively well and my husband has made more of a conscious effort to visit his mother's burial site yearly. I have been unable to go since the first time because I was either pregnant or nursing. (These conditions are pre-excused, even in the underworld apparently).
Over a year ago, Baby O was born at a healthy size and weight. Gone were the insecurities and various first time mother issues I had when my daughter was born. The confidence we had as a family in dealing with such young and helpless creatures was a solid resounding "good".
At just over 6 months old (August - Chinese Ghost Festival month), we took him to the baby clinic for his scheduled jabs and check-up at the hospital where he was born. From then on, and for about 4 months thereafter Baby O was more or less continually ill - roseola, gastroenteritis, coughs, colds (new germs Toddler A was bringing back from nursery), fevers, vomit, vomit and more vomiting. As a result, basically he stopped growing. He would just cling to me at every opportunity and whenever I left his sight he would be completely distressed and terrorised (ok, I know this is normal to a certain extent in babies of this age, but he really would be absolutely petrified).
Visits to pediatricians, GPs, baby clinics and even a homeopath yielded no real answers. It was not pyloric stenosis, reflux, allergies and blood tests showed that his liver, kidneys, heart, bloodcount etc were all fine. To say that my normally calm self was fretting, is an understatement. On some days when the vomiting seemed relentless, I was absolutely distraught. It seemed as if he was trying to purge his body of something.
Then one day (14th November) as my parents took Baby O out for a walk, a complete stranger (middle aged lady) remarked to them that Baby O looked like he had been "frightened" by something. The lady asked whether O had been unwell for a while, as she said that whatever this "thing" was, it had been bothering him for quite some time. After she said this, the lady just went about her way, she did not ask for any money nor advise my parents what they needed to do etc.
My parents being my parents, naturally freaked out upon hearing this, made a few phone calls to relatives asking for advice and rushed home to me and asked for an item of Baby O's clothing (top, trousers won't do). My dad promptly went to a temple/ Chinese Medium somewhere in Tai Po to "bai sun" (praying to the gods).
Later my dad told me that all he told the Chinese Medium was my son's name and date of birth, the Medium then said that indeed there was something following my son. (Note: the Chinese Medium has never met my dad and was unaware that my dad was coming to see him and for what purpose. You never make appointments to see Mediums, you just show up and normally very early in the morning. Once you see one Medium for something, you don't usually go back to see them ever again, even for unrelated purposes. They are also not allowed to profit for their advice and actions. They were given this special "gift" as a privilege and thus are not allowed to abuse it, only to use it to help others).
Anyway, to cut a long story short, offerings were made to the gods and my dad was given 2 charms (one for O to wear on his body and one to put under his mattress) and 2 small pieces of paper to burn and the ashes mixed into O's bathwater over 2 days.
Now, my son loves his baths, from day one. He has never been afraid of water and would happily splash around for ages if we let him. Strangely, for the 2 nights where we had to crumble some of the ashes into the water (which promptly dissolved), he screamed and screamed and screamed. He refused to sit down in the bath and was clambering all over me to get out.
I can name the glorious date of 16th November as the day when my son stopped his daily vomiting. Even when he was ill, he was always a really smiley and happy baby. But from that week on, it seemed like I got a brand new baby who was happier tenfold and suddenly calmer. He would happily leave my side voluntarily and play independently. He stopped screaming in terror for me everytime I left the room. Then came the growth spurt - yey!
Baby O will still vomit occasionally, but now very cleverly only does it whenever he doesn't like what we are serving him. Since that day, he's only had 2 low grade fevers that went away after half a day and one cold.
Now the cynical, non superstitious side of me thinks that it was pure coincidence that my son got "better" after the bai sun and that it was his body's immunity finally kicking into gear that did it.
But honestly, I'll let my parents take credit for it this time. There really was no harm in what they did, so what if some people think it's a whole lot of crap? The Medium never did/ could disclose "what" had been bothering my son. My parents thought it was my deceased mother-in-law (again), but surely a grandparent would not cause suffering to their own loved ones, right?
At a stretch, maybe she has unresolved issues with my husband (he was the only child not to be at her side when she passed away) and was using my son to try and get through to him about something. My husband is not the most sensitive, perceptive type, so maybe he had been missing her attempts all these years (he says his mum does appear in his dreams sometimes), so my son was used as a desperate measure. Hmm, highly unlikely, I think.
As Baby O got sick almost immediately after his visit to the hospital at 6 months, maybe a wandering spirit of someone who died there, thought he was cute and followed us home. Maybe even a spirit of someone who had once lost a child. (That's why in Chinese culture, children are not allowed to attend funerals and during the month of the Ghost Festival you shouldn't be out late with them for the same reason). Babies and toddlers are supposedly more sensitive and able to see these "beings", they lose this "third eye" when they develop the ability to fear them.
I still don't believe in ghosts or whatever 100%, but I do believe that there must be something else besides us mortals out there.
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