The big ill

This week has been rubbish (hhmm, does anything good ever happen these days??).  A got ill, then O (who took it much worse than her naturally) and then me.  An excellent combination!  

A was off school for 3 days and because of O's 3 day fever we were pretty much housebound.  She was literally bouncing off the walls, sofa and me whilst poor feverish O clung to me desperately as he watched his overexcited sister.   This is no party when you're nursing a fever yourself, but the lack of appetite was good for getting rid of excess weight.  

By Saturday morning, everyone seemed to have recovered pretty much and off we trundled to a pre-arranged visit to some friends with young children in the afternoon.  They had a beautiful house and A & O were happy to see so many new toys to play with.  Come snack time, O then decided that the exquisite dining table and its expensive placemats were lacking something and thus decided to projectile decorate them himself.  Even the Tommee Tippee bib overflowed with his work and I watched in embarrassment and horror as his "artwork" made its way all over my jeans.  Now smart mummy always has a spare set of clothes or two for O but not-so-smart mummy never carries a set for herself.  So despite my best attempts at cleaning myself up and rubbing alcohol hand gel into my jeans I smelt like ....  Vomitted dairy is the worse type of vomit smell there is (is such a thing as good vomit smell??).  

Our friends were very understanding, but I still felt very very bad for them and their other guests.  

Despite O's regular projectile history, 99.9% of the time it was confined to when he was at home.  Yesterday's episode was only the 2nd time he'd "released" elsewhere.  Until today.  We'd only popped downstairs for a quick bite for lunch and when my food came I plopped O back into his stroller and gave him a biscuit (which he has had on numerous occasions without much ado) to occupy him.  Uh oh.  

The employees of the restaurant didn't seem to notice what was going on, I was too busy trying to clean him off and prevent everything from pooling on the seat of the stroller.  I left Hubby and A behind to pay the bill whilst I marched off home first but not before stopping to apologise to the middle aged couple (who didn't even offer us a napkin to help) in the next booth.  

From the look on their face, you'd thought I'd smeared myself in dog poo, licked their food before making them eat it whilst insulting their mother.  They obviously thought that I should go throw myself off something high for having a vomitting baby.  For some stupid stupid reason, I let their reaction upset me more than my son being sick.  I was furious at them and then at myself for letting it get to me.  

Kids are napping now, I'm exhausted as I was sick in the sink after cleaning them up.  I'm really hoping that next week will be a cheerier one, one with less angst and more patience in dealing with the kids and their demands.  The muggy weather hasn't helped the tired and flary tempers at all.  I promise not to write about vomit anymore.  

Cantopopped on Chinese Valentine's Day

Yesterday evening as I was driving out to TST, I couldn't help but be distracted by the beautiful sight of the moon.  I haven't seen it so bright, so full and seemingly so close for a very long time.  It was breathtaking.  Fittingly, this 15th day of the Lunar new year is also known as Chinese Valentine's Day which also officially marks the end the lunar new year celebrations.  No more laisee giving until next year.  

So in anticipation of this "date night" a couple of weeks ago, Hubby arranged to get tickets for the "Alan Tam & Hacken Lee" concert playing at the revamped Hong Kong Coliseum.  I was not so keen as I envisioned how much work our Helper would be lumbered with if I was not around for the evening routine.  But what the heck it's not as if we have an evening out every day/ week or month for that matter.  I know I need to make my husband the priority more often.  

As the concert started at 8.15pm I had an frenetic adrenaline filled afternoon, escorting my daughter to her ballet class and back, entertaining energy bunny O for an hour whilst the Helper walked the dogs early and fried some rice for dinner.  Ballet class was late out which meant we didn't make it home until 6.20pm whereby I quickly bathed A and did dinner with her before dashing out of the door at 7.15pm (not before forgetting my ticket and having to go back for it though), leaving my Helper just to feed and bathe O and putting both kids to bed.  

Cantopop concerts are always broad in their appeal because HK is just too small in order to entertain a niche selection of the population and make a decent living.  Last night's concert was no exception, there were at least 2 toddler aged children in my immediate vicinity (we had excellent row 4 seats) who both had complete meltdowns by about 10pm.  One set of parents left with their child at this stage, whilst the other mum was still bouncing her visibly tired and upset child on her knee enthusiastically to the beat of the music at 11.15pm.  The oldest was an 85 year old spirited lady who proudly announced her age into the microphone.  She was enjoying herself immensely.  

So despite Alan Tam (a cantopop superstar, with a career spanning 40 odd years whose prime was probably during the 80s and 90s) being 60+ yr old and Hacken Lee (a very effortlessly good singer with an excellent voice, but whom never had huge commercial success) about 40ish the concert still took me by surprise.  

Here were the predictable bits:- sparkly, crystal encrusted costumes, young energetic beautiful dancers, good selection of classic songs, guest appearances, free inflatable plastic clappers and a good band.  

The more eye-opening elements were:- topless, bodybuilding posing by the 2 stars who had both spent 3 months with a personal trainer getting fit, laisee collecting from the audience (proceeds of which go to the Sichuan Earthquake charities), big flat screen panels around the stage which flashed up lyrics for the benefit of Alan Tam who is notorious for forgetting them (even his own songs), fireworks, and let's not forget the dance routines which included hip hop, street, modern, marching band majorettes, raunchy lithe gyrating and 2 pole dancers.  Excellent family show.  Oh and the sponsor of the concerts was oddly the "HK 2009 East Asian Games".   

It was not a brilliant show but entertaining nonetheless, me & Hubby were unashamedly dancing out of our seats.  So yes, we've become the embarrassing set of parents who think they still look cool dancing.  

Fast forward

Have you ever seen that (not so good) film, "Fast Forward"?  Whereby the main character has in his possession a remote control which allows him to fast forward/ rewind through life.  Well, today was definitely a fast forward day.  It was crap.  

O woke up with a fever because he had his prevanar shot yesterday, therefore breakfast was nicely brought back up.  Thank heavens for Tommee Tippee plastic bibs, the ones with the upturned bottom bit, they have saved me from having to mop the floor on many many occasions.  (On bad days though, the bib has been known to overflow).  But luckily, O didn't seem to be too under the weather and quite happily played with his toys alone as long as I was in the vicinity.  

Then there was A.  Tempers were frayed, voices raised, juice was spilled, plus a stint in the naughty room.  Like I mentioned before, she does love her brother.  He has been taking baby steps since Christmas day and it has only really been the last week where he has had the confidence to toddle around the flat from one room to another without resorting to crawling when the going gets tough.  He has even managed to walk without raising both his arms high above his head for balance.  Naturally though, he is still really unsteady on his feet.  

A's affections for him (and also towards the friends she really likes) manifests itself in neck hugging rugby tackles when she rushes over to kiss him.  Sometimes he cries, sometimes he screams, sometimes he shakes it off amused, but most of the time they end up a crumpled pile on the floor.  Each time A is reminded nicely/ firmly not to push or pull her brother otherwise he could get hurt.  She always nods her head and repeats that "O is just a baby mah".  

Today she just decided he was competition (for me) and on several occasions knocked him over on the sly when she thought I wouldn't notice.  I can't remember exactly how many times this scene was repeated, but it seemed like I was constantly raising my voice at her this afternoon and evening.  Distracting her with different things to do didn't help and going out was not an option (on good weather days we always try to go to the park or one of the many mini playgrounds dotted around our estate) due to O's fever.  She finally got sent to the naughty room when she smirked at what she had done.  

I just felt exasperated because she obviously knew what she was doing was wrong but chose to push me and my buttons.  Well, that's what it felt like anyway.  But now, I'm sitting here feeling crap for shouting all afternoon.  My eyes are going fuzzy too but the optometrist says its not because I need new prescription lenses, it's because I'm too tired and they can't seem to reset themselves.  

A was the easiest going baby ever growing up, she never had separation anxiety, was always friendly to strangers, sociable, sweet and never protested when she didn't get her way.  So her behaviour since she turned 2.5 years old has been a bit of a shock to me.  I honestly thought we were lucky here, not having to go through the terrible twos.  

O, on the other hand is easy going in other ways, but from a young age he always knew how to voice his discontent and get what he wanted from the adults by demanding it.  He has mini strops whenever he doesn't get his way.  So do I start mentally preparing myself for next year or will he miraculously (and hopefully) get it all out of his system by then?

Arrgh, tomorrow will be a better day.  

Chinese spirits in the sky (II)

Since we moved flats, all has been relatively well and my husband has made more of a conscious effort to visit his mother's burial site yearly.  I have been unable to go since the first time because I was either pregnant or nursing.  (These conditions are pre-excused, even in the underworld apparently).  

Over a year ago, Baby O was born at a healthy size and weight.  Gone were the insecurities and various first time mother issues I had when my daughter was born. The confidence we had as a family in dealing with such young and helpless creatures was a solid resounding "good".  

At just over 6 months old (August - Chinese Ghost Festival month), we took him to the baby clinic for his scheduled jabs and check-up at the hospital where he was born.  From then on, and for about 4 months thereafter Baby O was more or less continually ill - roseola, gastroenteritis, coughs, colds (new germs Toddler A was bringing back from nursery), fevers,  vomit, vomit and more vomiting.  As a result, basically he stopped growing.  He would just cling to me at every opportunity and whenever I left his sight he would be completely distressed and terrorised (ok, I know this is normal to a certain extent in babies of this age, but he really would be absolutely petrified).  

Visits to pediatricians, GPs, baby clinics and even a homeopath yielded no real answers.  It was not pyloric stenosis, reflux, allergies and blood tests showed that his liver, kidneys, heart, bloodcount etc were all fine.  To say that my normally calm self was fretting, is an understatement.  On some days when the vomiting seemed relentless, I was absolutely distraught.  It seemed as if he was trying to purge his body of something.  

Then one day (14th November) as my parents took Baby O out for a walk, a complete stranger (middle aged lady) remarked to them that Baby O looked like he had been "frightened" by something.  The lady asked whether O had been unwell for a while, as she said that whatever this "thing" was, it had been bothering him for quite some time. After she said this, the lady just went about her way, she did not ask for any money nor advise my parents what they needed to do etc.    

My parents being my parents, naturally freaked out upon hearing this, made a few phone calls to relatives asking for advice and rushed home to me and asked for an item of Baby O's clothing (top, trousers won't do).  My dad promptly went to a temple/ Chinese Medium somewhere in Tai Po to "bai sun" (praying to the gods).  

Later my dad told me that all he told the Chinese Medium was my son's name and date of birth, the Medium then said that indeed there was something following my son.  (Note: the Chinese Medium has never met my dad and was unaware that my dad was coming to see him and for what purpose.  You never make appointments to see Mediums, you just show up and normally very early in the morning.  Once you see one Medium for something, you don't usually go back to see them ever again, even for unrelated purposes.  They are also not allowed to profit for their advice and actions.   They were given this special "gift" as a privilege and thus are not allowed to abuse it, only to use it to help others).  

Anyway, to cut a long story short, offerings were made to the gods and my dad was given 2 charms (one for O to wear on his body and one to put under his mattress) and 2 small pieces of paper to burn and the ashes mixed into O's bathwater over 2 days.  

Now, my son loves his baths, from day one.  He has never been afraid of water and would happily splash around for ages if we let him.  Strangely, for the 2 nights where we had to crumble some of the ashes into the water (which promptly dissolved), he screamed and screamed and screamed.  He refused to sit down in the bath and was clambering all over me to get out.  

I can name the glorious date of 16th November as the day when my son stopped his daily vomiting.  Even when he was ill, he was always a really smiley and happy baby. But from that week on, it seemed like I got a brand new baby who was happier tenfold and suddenly calmer.  He would happily leave my side voluntarily and play independently.  He stopped screaming in terror for me everytime I left the room. Then came the growth spurt - yey!  

Baby O will still vomit occasionally, but now very cleverly only does it whenever he doesn't like what we are serving him.  Since that day, he's only had 2 low grade fevers that went away after half a day and one cold.  

Now the cynical, non superstitious side of me thinks that it was pure coincidence that my son got "better" after the bai sun and that it was his body's immunity finally kicking into gear that did it. 

But honestly, I'll let my parents take credit for it this time.  There really was no harm in what they did, so what if some people think it's a whole lot of crap?  The Medium never did/ could disclose "what" had been bothering my son.  My parents thought it was my deceased mother-in-law (again), but surely a grandparent would not cause suffering to their own loved ones, right?  

At a stretch, maybe she has unresolved issues with my husband (he was the only child not to be at her side when she passed away) and was using my son to try and get through to him about something.  My husband is not the most sensitive, perceptive type, so maybe he had been missing her attempts all these years (he says his mum does appear in his dreams sometimes), so my son was used as a desperate measure.  Hmm, highly unlikely, I think.

As Baby O got sick almost immediately after his visit to the hospital at 6 months, maybe a wandering spirit of someone who died there, thought he was cute and followed us home.  Maybe even a spirit of someone who had once lost a child. (That's why in Chinese culture, children are not allowed to attend funerals and during the month of the Ghost Festival you shouldn't be out late with them for the same reason). Babies and toddlers are supposedly more sensitive and able to see these "beings", they lose this "third eye" when they develop the ability to fear them.  

I still don't believe in ghosts or whatever 100%, but I do believe that there must be something else besides us mortals out there.