One very bland manifestation of my practical and logical nature is that I'm usually very dismissive of anything that is irrational and plain mumbo jumbo. I never believed in Santa Claus or fairies and from a young age knew that real princesses didn't exist (not in the glittery, beautiful, delicate, sing-songy type anyway). I was usually the one poo-pooing, and rolling my eyes at the stories of others that even dared to stretch one's imagination a little. Ghosts .... are you kidding me??
Well, here goes. Since the birth of my children, there have been 2 notable incidents which have made me sit up and look warily at the walls in my surroundings.
I'm a relatively healthy person, I used to pride myself on the fact that I rarely needed to see the doctor and even if a visit was warranted, I would normally bounce back to my normal self within a few days. I went for years without needing any sort of medication to help put me right.
So, I was naturally perplexed when after the birth of my daughter, I had a string of medical related incidents. Within 10 days of giving birth, I was suddenly struck down with a high fever and throbbing chest pains. Me being me, thought I'd just lie down for a bit, let the body heal itself and make it stronger by fighting off whatever it is naturally. Pause, oh wait. I have a suckling daughter to think of, I might pass on something her developing immune system can't handle yet. So off to the doctor I went. Mastitis.
"Lucky you came when you did, if you had waited any longer, we might have needed to drain the abscess surgically". Oh. This scenario more or less repeated itself a few weeks later, except I was quicker to go and get my antibiotics this time round. Throb throb for a few days.
Mastitis is not that uncommon in nursing mothers, what's so unusual? A few weeks later, I managed to hurt my left foot to the point where I needed minor surgery. Having anesthetic injected into my toes was more painful than childbirth, I kid you not. Even the 60 year old patronising surgeon managed to raise a smile to that comment. Hobble hobble for a week.
Not long after that, wisdom teeth needed seeing to and extracted at great expense. Impacted to the bone was the comment, hence the need for a bigger cut and subsequent wound. Since I was still nursing my daughter, I think I was sent away with nothing stronger than a panadol. Hamster cheeks for 2 days.
Then for the grand finale, viral gastroenteritis which resulted in a 3 day hospital stay (2.5 days of which I was virtually unconscious). My husband and I had the same meal, and he was completely fine. Puke puke and watery poo. Yuck.
The night I came home from the hospital, I was resting in bed, tired and drowsy at around 9pm. My daughter was asleep in the cot beside me. I started having these dream like visions, of me speeding through various scenarios of my life where people were represented by ink black stick figures, shadowy representations with zipping movements. As I was hurtling through these scenes, I physically felt I could not move, like something was pinning my limbs down on the bed. I wanted to open my eyes, but they seemed heavy and uncooperative. I willed myself to fight back to whatever was holding me down and in my mind, this struggle ended up with me pushing this "force" onto the ground. I heard my daughter stir in her cot and I shouted (in my mind), "Please don't hurt L.T.H." (daughter's Chinese name).
Then suddenly, this jet black veil lifted, I could open my eyes and move my body. I sat up on my bed and looked over to my daughter, who was still sleeping peacefully. I was shaking somewhat. I can't remember where my husband was or how I ever fell asleep that night, but I suspect drugs might have had something to do with it. The chemical cocktail which the hospital pumped into my body whilst I was unconscious would take 10 days to clear my body.
The next day I was on the phone talking to my mother about this, expecting her to laugh at my story. Instead, she mentioned that it was the month of the Chinese Ghost Festival. I also told her that my daughter would cry and cry and cry whenever my Father-in-law ("FIL") would come and visit. All he had to do was appear within her range of vision and the poor baby would become inconsolable.
"Your Mother-in-law ("MIL") died relatively young, right?"
"I guess so, when my husband was in his teens"
"Maybe she has some unresolved business"
"Hah??"
I had mentioned to my husband previously, that since we got married, he had not taken me to "meet" his mother at her place of rest. (Note: In Chinese culture, ancestral worship is a big deal, you must honour and do right by your dead ancestors in order to have a prosperous and healthy life etc.) In fact, he hadn't even visited her himself for a fair few years. He said, his Dad (my FIL) usually went by himself and never asked the kids to accompany him. This would be a big no-no in my family.
Turns out that despite my FIL's many visits, since we got married, he was a big vague when we asked him whether he updated his wife on the latest with their kids. He didn't even tell her that she now has another grand-daughter. He said he talks to her about "other" stuff.
After further discussion with my side of the family, they thought maybe, MIL sensed something was up and followed my FIL here when the gates to the netherworld were temporarily opened during the Ghost Festival. My daughter would cry because of her hovering presence around my FIL. As a wake up call to her son, my "weakened" (not just physically but due to loss of "chi - Chinese life force", hence easier to take advantage of) post pregnancy body was used to alert him.
Rapid preparations were made for a visit to the Tseung Kwan O public cemetery, with our then 5 month daughter to meet her Grandma. Respects were paid, conversations had and presents laid. I can honestly say from that day on, my daughter never cried like she did when she saw my FIL and I didn't seem to be inflicted with any more ailments.
My rational and logical self still thinks that it was all a bit of a coincidence. That because I didn't rest properly after the birth and the punishing task I set myself of whizzing home a few times a day to nurse my daughter whilst working full time, my body was just sending me breakdown and slow down signals. (I did reduce my working hours the following month).
When talking about this whole episode with my helper a few days thereafter, she told me that she saw a black shadow in the living room one late afternoon passing by the bedroom doors (the day I was about to come home from the hospital). She thought it might have been my husband, but then she saw him sleeping on the couch. She said, she didn't say anything at the time because she didn't want to scare me ......
(We moved from that 40 year old flat in the mid-levels when the lease was up 2 months later).
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